Placement sucks...

It has been such a long time not updating my blog...Anyway, I am busy with stuff...well I always said that I am busy.. but I think that sometimes I am giving myself excuses...

Since I am doing Nutrition and Dietetics, I have to take Community Nutrition as one of my subjects. Basically it involves intervention towards public health, co-operate with the government to formulate policy guidelines towards healthy eating in relation to obesity and stuff...But, it is boring to me because I hate planning and go through tedious processes...Then, the placement is actually for us to work on our respective projects.. And mine is about healthy lunchboxes...whereby we need to assess year 5 and year 6 school children lunchboxes to look at the foods they brought to school to evaluate whether they are eating healthily..

And now, I will keep on rattling about my placement...because I have been bottling up my feelings for four weeks.. and enough is enough...

All Malaysians who are doing this course have to split up to be in groups with Australians for our placement.So every group will have 2 to 3 Australians with one Malaysian.

Since I do not like this subject much, I did not do much background research...So basically I did not know much about the project... My group mates did found info on it.. But they are just unwilling to share them with me or bother explaining to me on what they have found. Or if I emailed them whether there was anything I could help, they would ignore my email..That is fine..

1ST WEEK
Then the first week of placement starts...damn it was stressful... It was so hard to communicate with them. I don't think my English is good, but it is not bad either... It is like I need to repeat myself at least twice for them to answer my question.. Then if i repeat too many times,they would think that I don't understand them... Like I am idiot or something,like I have no clue on what I am doing...So most of the work was done by them...and most of the time I was just sitting there watching them editing stuff,doing graphs on the pc.. and I would just be watching...

In this case, it is normal that one will feel bored right? So I tend to space out at times... Then they would suddenly popped the question and asked my opinion about the stuff they are doing.. then obviously I would say that I dunno... then they would say 'What are you doing?'

HELLO.... I don't feel like I am a part of this project at the start.. They would talk between themselves most of the time... and I was trying very very hard to listen on what they were talking about on the project... and sometimes I just couldn't get it.. because they would not bother to explain to me on what they were planning to do on the project most of the time.

Then, when we were doing the audits and survey for the children, same thing happened... They did not really tell me clearly how were they going to conduct the audit and surveys...then when I've done the mistake, they would say 'Didn't we talk about it yesterday and you were there??'

HEY C'MON MAN!!!! You guys were mumbling among yourselves most of the time!!! You EXPECT me to know it???I feel as though I NEED eavesdrop all the time to know the progress of the project!!!

Then, here comes the insult from one of my group mate. On Thursday, she said that she was tired. Then I asked her that whether she went out yesterday night... because uni students go out on a Wed night normally for clubbing or to pubs coz alcohol is cheap on Wed nights... Then she replied:' No, I am not that STUPID...' WALAU!! In the other way round, she was actually insulting me by saying that I am STUPID!!

There was also another insult when we were compiling results on the audits because we need to count up the number of serves of food we have audited.. I asked her 'If 35 grams is one serve,then how about 15 grams? ' She replied' Oh, you just need to use SIMPLE math and COMMON SENSE.' Man... what kind of comment is that??

So, it was so stressful working with them...it makes me feel like I am total idiot during placement.. then my other group mate likes to swear alot.. F***.. D***head is common words from her mouth...She would swear on anything..probably EVERYTHING...
I am scared to talk to her as well... as she does not like me to comment or run through her stuff when she is doing something...like she would bark at me anytime...

First week was terrible.. But I told myself that I would survive this by proving myself on the things I am good at...I chanted for the wisdom to fit in...Or else, I don't think I can calm down my feelings during placement.

2ND WEEK
This week was still not too bad...
At least I have things to do.. for the audits and surveys... at first I don't think they trusted me on doing the audits.. Cause they tend do more I think...

Started to chat with them and talk more to them as well...

But I still don't enjoy being on placement.

3RD WEEK
This week we start to write up our report... So basically I just counted up all the audits...so that my groupmate could work on it to put in the report...

Basically, I just written three small sections on the report.... Then they would go through it and change it..Although it is not like they changed EVERYTHING that I've written,but still I would not have any final say on the report.. or they would ignore my suggestion on what I think was suppose to be in the report...

Then, they were saying that they were eager to bring me out to get me drunk.. so that I would have an experience of getting a hungover....Damn, I don't think I wanna go out with them...coz I dun trust them.. besides I think that they have the intention of making fun of me because I have no experience in getting drunk.. rather than with the intention for me to have a good time.

This week ended eventually, and I am happy to get OVER it asap...

4TH WEEK

Nothing much to do, as the report is mostly done.. again.. I don't think I am doing much work compared to them.. But I am contributing as well.. I did the powerpoint presentation...

Well, when we get feedback on the report from the dietician, I said I wanted to look at the section that I did... They would just ignore my request and asked me ' What is wrong?' C'MON.. can't I JUST LOOK AT IT??? They were so scared that I am going to change anything on the report.. Like I've said.. I do not have final say on the report...

Then as they were finalising the log book (we need the log book to jot down goals that needs to be completed on the course of our project), there were some days where I did not jot down what I have done for the day...So, I just added some bits on the log book because I knew that we would be assessed based on our contribution towards the report.. She was like 'Cherlyn, you don't need to jot down every single thing you have done because I've already checked it and it is fine as it is a working document and not a diary' I was thinking 'they had jotted down stuff like I did as well and why couldn't I?'

So basically I just couldn't say or do anything freely because they are the ones who finalise EVERYTHING...I can't even TOUCH the logbook unless they say so... if I touch it, they would check every single bit I've written... or they would scrutinize my actions, like my every move is under their control...

yea..finally this is the end of placement which is great.. cause I dun need to see their shit face everyday anymore...but one valuable lesson I learned: If I am deciding to work and live here after I graduate, I would need to upgrade myself so that I am on par with Australians.. so that I would not be despised by them...

I guess they would think that Asians are stupid or something(but not all Aussies of course because I knew Aussie frens who are very nice ppl).They would not say it.. but deep down I do think they feel that way..I can sort of figure it out through their actions at placement... so I will prove to them that Asians are SMART ass...we are willing to work hard and improve ourselves...and one day.. we will far excel beyond their imagination..and they would remain the same level as before because people who look down upon others cannot achieve anything great anyway...

Well, I do not hold a grudge towards them or anything.. Just expressed how I feel... thats all...it is soooo exhilarating after spilling it all out :)