Saturday, June 20, 2009

Welcome weekend...

Last day of my weekend, Sunday.

Will have to wake up 6 am in the morning tomorrow and travel all the way to Cessnock District Hospital for food service placement. Luckily, my group mate is able to give me and Angeline a life there.. Or else we would need to travel 2 hours everyday to placement.. which will be exhausting...

So how is my placement so far and how am I doin? I can say.. Not too bad..

There are crappy days, and there are happy days... But at this stage, there is more bad days compared to good days...

Crappy days is when I feel stupid or incapable at work... when I don't believe my potential to grow and learn.

Friday was the best day.... As it is the end of the week.. And was looking forward to having lunch with Melissa( YW from SGI sydney) accompanied by sincere heart-to-heart dialogue... I was expecting to have lunch somewhere in Darby Street in a nice cafe as I thought we should have time... But we ended up having lunch in Hungry Jacks in Jezzo as we are about to attend Newcastle region meeting in Elermore Vale Community Centre at 3 pm.

It went well... I was glad being to that meeting for it reminds me of how important I am....rather than comparing myself to those around me, I should always believe that everyone is unique and has their mission that he or she can only accomplish in this life time..

Not only should I see that in myself, but also see that unlimited potential in another human being... Instead of wanting the other person to change, I should enact change in my life in order to effect change in my environment.

In other words, instead of picking up flaws of another human being, I should have the wisdom to see the good in them as who they are... and deal with them with wisdom and compassion... and that will need come from my sincere daimoku and prayer from my heart for the absolute happiness of all people around me, especially for those who I have problems with... And truly appreciate their presence in my life... for they are the ones who enrich my life while helping me to become a better human being each and everyday...

There are times when we will be too caught up in our own problems that we see only limited scope of our capabilities. It is only by striving for the happiness of others that we are able to solve our own problems.In other words, it is to be more caring to those people in our environment. Be it our friends our family... and to wake up everyday and feel thankful for who we are and what we have.

So although there can be annoying people around us which contributes to our crappy days, we will need to appreciate their presence... As they make us grow in tolerance as a human being... also, it draws out the compassion in us for him or her that the reason that the other person is behaving this way is probably that they are suffering deep in their life but they just don't realise it yet. To be able to see that, is liberating for us... as we will know at that point on how to react... by not being influenced by the actions of those people in our environment.

To put into practice in daily life is of course difficult... That is why we re-determined everyday with daimoku and prayer. For example: 'I pray for abc's absolute happiness regardless of his/her behaviour, and that she will gain victory over her fundamental darkness.' That prayer, which acts as the latent effect, will come forth when we are engaging with the other person that we are praying for.

This is what I learned from the meeting.. which I think will be useful to anyone who are facing difficulties with people at times...

Now I will just need to move forward.. and re-determine everyday.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Miss my family and 狗妹妹


Most recent picture with Bro...


Bro with 狗妹妹..


Mum with my 狗妹妹...


Couzy sis with 狗妹妹...


Me with 狗妹妹..

Miss home.. and mother's cooking.... can I eat in my dreamzz??

Leng Chi Kang??



Look at this .... It is Aaron Made Leng Chi Kang...when me, OY and WF were having lunch at Kotara... Oi Yin just finished exam... So we chilled out together...
Mixed with left over rice, coke and ice....aaron... sigh... Soooo childish...
But we had our laugh ler...haha...

Uneasy...

Going to start Food service placement soon on Monday.... Had a great time with Wei Fun, Oi Yin, Aaron, Sim and Hui Rong yesterday.. we had a lil alcohol with singing and dancing...Just a small get together as some of us will be going on placement.

And the past few weeks, I've always been together with Wei Fun and others...and I really cherish the moments we spent together....

And today suddenly, I am alone.. So feel a bit awkward.. my feelings all over the place...watched Youtube whole afternoon.. listen to my favourite songs and singing relli loud in my room....

But I still feel weird.. Chanted for half an hour... but still can't find the peace in me... So I went to Huiru's room... And Mei Sin, Ping Syen, Pin Sze were there.... and chatted with them...

It is good that I feel better now with their company...and thanks to Huiru for giving me some advice : )

So, I will need to be mentally prepared to face challenges ahead... Not to worry but face them with courage... So are my friends and course mates...I pray sincerely from my heart for the happiness friends and family around me...

And may all of us graduate with pride and joy end of this year...

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Pek Yiong's Bday

video

Best part of Uni life... Celebrating frenzz bday....Frenzz putting effort to make cake and organise surprise party....

I hope those who see my blog will be reminded of their uni life...Friendship like this is hard to find once we are out in the society working...

Treasure this while you can...

FRENSHIP FOREVER!!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Another day...

It is 12 am... Sleepy but do not feel like going to bed yet....
I am pretty lazy lately... I've done all my assignments for this semester... waiting for the start for my next placement at Cessnock...

It is already June now... There still little time left out of uni life...I wondered how my future is going to be...

Have many things on my mind... and things that i am worried about...

1) Hopefully I am going to pass all my placements,while enjoying the process of learning
2) Hopefully I am going to find a job here.. And settle in when I'm graduating... Still do not know how to go about it yet
3) Hopefully I will achieve what I meant to do this year

Sometimes I do not understand myself... All the insecurities and fear surrounding me... I do feel that at times that I can't see the beauty in me...
Is it because I compare myself to those around me? Yea.. obviously... Due to lack of self-confidence...This inner negativity has accompanied me for long.... That it will not shrug off my shoulders...

And sometimes I will beam with confidence... I am just amaze at my inconsistency...Fluctuating all the time...

Everytime I am different... Still trying to find my grounding.... My principles... And my sense of self..where is it? The part of me?

Will need to sort that out...